Finally time to write what happened. We left the hotel and went to Tolek’s orphanage which was a blessing because at first the director was not going to allow us to come. She said that after our last visit in December, Tolek cried for 3 weeks, couldn’t sleep at night and was very depressed, this after he spoke with Valera. He missed his brother terribly. But, she relented and allowed us to come.
We had a wonderful visit, I wish I could get the video to download on face book; I can’t get the pictures to download either! We had bought a camera in Ukraine when we were there in March of last year and I downloaded from it, perhaps it has to do with that. Any techies out there can offer some help?
He came running right up to me and gave me a big hug when he saw me in the director’s office! He is the most adorable little snuggly bug you have EVER seen!! I could just eat him up!!! We played on the floor with the toys I brought him he was ecstatic. I had a floor matt with a town on it that you drive cars and trucks on, Valera had picked out the vehicles one of them being a ‘bat mobile’ oh my, you would of thought this child won the lottery! It was too cute.
The director and teacher showed him the book that Valera had read and taped his voice reading it to him. It was one of those hallmark Charlie Brown Christmas books, but it didn’t work! It worked in the hotel and then something happened in transit to the orphanage! Figures!! But they were going to try to get new batteries, and then the picture book of Valera in every imaginable scene from his new life, a card and more gifts. Tolek was thrilled and so was the director and his teacher. They are 100% on board with us getting him and will do what they can to help the process, hallelujah!
We were there for about an hour, didn’t want to leave but needed to go and get Oksana and finish her process, get on the road. That gruesome gut wrenching journey was about to begin, I had NO idea what I was in for emotionally, physically, or spiritually. Its good time has passed since being able to recant the story, gives me more perspective on what we went thru, better yet, what I went thru.
The good news is that Arkadiy said they have begun the process of terminating Tolek’s father’s rights!! Yippee!!!!! So not only is it possible, but they have begun.
We headed to Arkadiy’s office because you need the inspector to pick up your child and finalize with the director her release. I had the picture book by shutter fly I had made of CeCe, she modeling most of her winter wardrobe on page after page with printed dialogue to Arkadiy from her to him. The front covers a picture of CeCe and I saying “merry Christmas Arkadiy!” and she in NYC, Central Park, out shopping, playing, walking… he LOVED it!! And of course, some to die for Ralph Lauren shirts and sweater, fabby colors you know!
Oksana was in the infirmary where she had been for several days, they had her on antibiotics. We met with the nurse in the director’s office and reviewed her health and some other things I don’t know what really. Then she and I went upstairs to change her out of her orphan clothes into the beautiful Abercrombie and Fitch things I had bought with my niece Taylor who is the fashion queen on Arlin’s side of nieces and nephews for sure! We spent a couple of hours getting the most gorgeous outfits, although I don’t’ support this store I must say, their values etc.. I just didn’t want Oksana to deal with clothing issues of what’s ‘in’ and what’s not in middle school her first week on top of being foreign, adopted etc. Valera had told me how he had felt embarrassed because kids teased him about his accent and his language that first week. So I was trying to avoid any additional pressure at her age, not much of that at 7 years old, but certainly at 12 which she will be February 16th.
We went up to her dorm and NONE of the things I brought her fit; they were all way too tight. She had gone from size 8 girls in September to a size 14 girls or 16!!!! I about died!! The coat, NOTHING fit. They don’t let you leave with orphanage clothes, and the shoes I brought, none of the 3 pair of boots I had for her fit either. I was depressed to say the least!!! Who was this kid? Why did these things not fit, how could I not figure when I saw her in December what size she was, why had she grown so much in so short of a time?
They had her dressed in these horrific clothes that made her look giant and like a boy. Well, in my shallow mind, I was quickly detaching emotionally. This can’t be my daughter, she looks like a boy and she doesn’t like pink, can you imagine, MY daughter not liking pink????? And it went downhill from there.
The orphanage lawyer who had come to be Oksana’s refuge, confident, and true friend was kind enough to allow us to take the clothes on her back, I traded her for the things I had brought, coat and all. This was VERY unusual, they never allow you to take their things, I don’t understand why. I would have GLADLY left them these ugly clothes, and the boots, they looked like boot camp men’s boots, too large and very ugly. Ugh!!!!!
Dima was rushing us, we were on the move, the inspector had to get back to his office and we had to keep moving to the notary, the register’s office etc… with all the paperwork before dark. We ran down the stairs, she had her suitcase lagging behind me, I didn’t’ look back. I trusted she was following.
We loaded up in the car, not without taking the famed pictures Arlin wanted of her leaving the orphanage for the last time in 2 feet of snow by the way. All the pics of the “cleared” roads and sidewalks are on FB but again, help anyone!!
We stopped very briefly to take those few pics and the surroundings and loaded in the taxi. My head was spinning; I was on auto pilot now.
We pulled up the inspector’s office building, Arkadiy, and let him out. He told Dima he wanted to say a few things to me. I stepped out of the taxi and he began as Dima translated, “I have to tell you, I have dealt with 100’s of families and I have worked many hard years to help in adoption and I must say that you and your family are the most wonderful, loving, heartfelt people I have ever met! You are wonderful and caring people who I can see genuinely care and love these children and will give them a good home and care for others…. “On and on he went. “ I want to give you a hug, but I cannot in public where I can be seen, but I love you (I think he said this) and wish you the very, very best as I know you will be wonderful parents. These children are so fortunate to have you!” He gushed for about 7 minutes which in -24 Celsius about -10F is a LONG time!!! He was so amazing as he put out his hand to shake mine, I wanted to grab him and give him a big hug, but respected that it was not permissible.
I told him we would be back for Tolek and we would see our “friend” again!! That was the best part of the trip so far. Of course Dima as always who has become more like a brother than anything else, he said one evening while smoking his cigarette and laughing, “Deborah, I don’t talk to anyone else like I do you! You are not like a client anymore, you are more like a, a, well…”
“I know Dima; you’re more like my brother than anything! Unfortunately, now I take all your abuse!! Ha-ha” and we laughed!
We jumped back in the taxi and off to all the offices we had to go to. The next morning we had to leave at 7:30am to drive to her village to get the new birth certificate with my name on it, and her insane father’s as well.
When we finally arrived at the hotel, we were exhausted, cold, hungry and tired. But arriving at the hotel was not respite from the cold remembered. The heat on our side of the hotel not working properly, the unsealed windows with the wind-chill factor of -34C whatever that translates into, blowing into the room and a little space heater attempting to take of the “chill”!!
The front desk lady was the same wonderful woman who helped us when Arlin and I were here in September trying to contact the siblings to get to them for their adoption. When we arrived, we went back to my original room to gather my things as we had to move to a larger room with twin beds as I now had Oksana and my room was a ‘single’ room, she followed behind us and said, “Deborah, I have a proposition for you if you wish. Your new room is a corner room and it is entirely too cold for you and Oksana.” I went next door to look at it, Yuk! Two intersecting single beds and two outside exposed walls to the cold, meat locker for sure!
“I will let you stay in this room that is a single room if you don’t mind sharing the bed because it will be warmer for you both."
Well, you didn’t have to offer twice to me!! I’ll take it!!! Meant we had to share a small double bed, but all the warmer!
We had gone to the grocery store before returning to our hotel to buy food for dinner and for the next day as there would be no stopping anywhere along the way and then straight to the train station for a 14 hour overnight train ride, arriving in Kiev at 9:30 and taxing straight to the US Embassy for our 10am appointment.
Dima came to our room and made a few sandwiches with the meat, cheese and bread we had bought; we also got fruit and water. He noticed that I was not bonding with Oksana and kept telling me to get involved with the child at hand. I kept talking about Tolek and what our next steps were with him. I couldn’t seem to get into the moment with Oksana. She had not said a word to me or Dima, she wasn’t talking. She gave NO indication that she was happy that she was coming or otherwise making it all the more difficult for me. This was not the same child who ran up to me and hugged me unexpectedly at court in early January when I was here for the quick 3 day trip for the 30 minute court! Really, I was stunned and about to lose it.
I had her shower, the pajamas I brought did fit, and they were a woman’s XS. I then showered and got in my pj’s. We went to bed, no talking, no communication, I was sleeping with a stranger who didn’t like me as far as I could tell and was in shock leaving her country, her orphanage, and coming to a new country with a stranger as well. This was NOT going well my friends.
How had I fallen in love with the sibs from a picture? And Valera as well? And Tolek from the moment I saw him and now… NOTHING for this little one?!?!?! I sensed her uneasiness, her hesitation, and was thinking, “Does she just want out of Ukraine and to America? How is this going to work? We’re not bonding here, there’s absolutely no chemistry happening… how can I do this?”
I lie in bed next to her and felt myself about to breakdown crying. I waited until about 10pm when she was asleep, got up, put on my coat, scarf, gloves and boots over my pajama’s and went to the lobby, about the size of our kitchen. I took a book.
The front desk lady saw me over in the corner reading all snuggled up, and of course I was crying my eyes out. I was reading a great Christian fiction book about a boy with autism and all his rejection and what his parents went thru etc… how appropriate, so between this sad story and my own real life “sad” story drama playing out before me, I was a crying mess.
There was a wedding going on there as I told you we expected. Their loud partying until 1am didn’t help the fact that I wasn’t going to get any sleep. I don’t know how anyone in that place slept, the walls have NO insulation from sound and the people are right there for heavens’ sake.
A little girl from the wedding, must have been the niece came up to me and was smiling, she was adorable, I was ready to take her home, anyone, just a cute girl willing to give me a smile and nod of acceptance please!
She could see that I was crying and frowned as to know what the matter with me was. I told her I was ‘ok’ and she understood I didn’t speak her language. Her mother came over and gathered her up in her little fur coat, smiling at me, cautious, who is this American crying in her pajamas, coat, scarf, boots and gloves sitting in the small lobby reading a book???? Weirdo!
The front desk lady finally approached me at 1am and said it was too cold for me in the lobby; she was going to move me to the billiard room, basically a room with a pool table next to the kitchen, because it was warm in there for me. She unlocked the room, put on the lights and I found a place on the couch next to the kitchen, lots of noise in there breaking down after the wedding reception I guess.
I stayed there and read until 5:45am, I couldn’t sleep and at this point, the print was blurry, I couldn’t’ read anymore and was beginning to get tired, but we had to be up at 6am for breakfast at 7:00 to leave at 7:30. I returned to my room, got Oksana up and we got dressed.
I was ready first and told her I would meet her in the breakfast room, took my IPod and left. Dima came in shortly after me and asked what the problem was. I think he knew I had not slept and obviously from my swollen eyes guessed there was a problem. I explained that perhaps I had made an error, were we supposed to take this child, was this one to be ours, she didn’t talk, she didn’t even look at me, what had I done? He said, “Deborah, she’s in shock, she’s afraid, this is a big deal for her. Just give her time, she’s shy and scared!!"
Well, patience being my number one virtue, I wasn’t prepared to wait. She came in for breakfast and Dima and I chatted away. I just ignored her. Sorry, that’s the truth, hard as it seems.
We hurried and collected our things as the taxi came. Now if you think the ride from Donetsk in the dark was the ride from hell, oh no my friends!!! We were about to embark on the ride from hell for the next 9 ½ hours!!!!
Dima had figured that the drive to the village was about 4 hours from where we were, well, unfortunately for us, it was 5! And in this snow, in a little bitty car with Dima at 6’4” and the driver at 6’2” with their seats pushed all the way back, the trunk the size of a back seat, leaving Oksana and I with seats at our knees if we chose to sit straight, and two suitcases between us and a laptop at my feet and all the bags of food and water, comfortable anyone???? For the next NINE HOURS!!!! No this truly was the worst ever!!!!
And then, 2 hours into the trip we pull into this ‘gas station’ which was all of 3 pumps in the middle of nowhere, where is the Sheetz when you need one??? And as we pull up, Dima says, “Get out.”
What do you mean get out? I’m not getting out and freezing!! And I’m not pumping gas, that’s HIS job!!
"Get out!” he said. And he was serious. We hurriedly got out as he demanded and he said, “Follow me.”
Where was he going? As we were walking he explained that this guy’s car took a certain fuel, like propane but not exactly propane. The tank was in the trunk. Well no WONDER why the luggage didn’t fit back there!!
He said that when you are filling the car, anyone in the car besides the person filling the tank have to walk 150 feet away from the vehicle in case it blows up while filling it.
OH NOW I FEEL COMPLETELY SAFE IN THIS VEHICLE FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!!!!!!!!!
What might this mean if we were to get hit from behind by a…. say… sliding out of control in the snow vehicle from behind? Use your imagination, it doesn’t take much… BOOM!!!!
Truly this is a story out of a BAD novel is it not? This is not happening real time for me is it??? Let’s just add ‘fuel to the fire’ dare I joke in this situation?????
He smoked a cigarette and I have to say, if I didn’t hate those things I was ready to take up smoking with him!! Got a drink anyone???
We loaded back up and continued on. The navigation system the guy had was not finding our destination. My feet were totally frozen as the driver kept turning off the heat, they were burning up in the front, we were freezing in the back, gloves, hat, scarves, and all on, but to no avail. Trip from… well you get the drift by now.
Ok let’s speed this up… we finally find the village with the ONE building where we need to go. It is not HER village, but the HEAD village of the area, the office so to speak. Dima goes in and leaves us in the car that is shut OFF for 110 minutes… need I say more? Frost bite in the feet at this time….
He returns and tells me to get out quickly and follow him. We enter the building after my complaining loudly on the walk in thru the snow about freezing in the car, forget about me, but we DO have a child on hand. He tells me he would have invited me into the building but no heat there, what’s the difference? But there was heat in this ladies office only room for two.
I sign the papers, then he brings in Oksana, smiles, advice to Oksana from the lady in Russian, pleasantries and we’re off. Now a 3 our drive back to Donetsk, well 4 hours to the passport to get her passport where at normal speed of 3-5 days processing, you can “expedite” the process to 15 minutes for a mere “encouragement” of sorts. I’ll leave the thinking to you.
We chose the “expediting” way which has gone up considerably by the way. However, this official was able to get us tickets on the train that was sold out that would have cost us a few more days. She got us first class with a phone call and more “encouragement”.
Oh well, whatever it takes.
Dima had told me on exiting the office in the village that the lady remembered Oksana, she was from her actual village and had filled him in on the family history. He would tell me when we had some time alone.
We make it finally to the passport police station, wait outside in the cold again, vehicle shut off, but not without in route stopping to get MORE gas, lovely experience that is.
We then find a notary and go to the train station following. We arrive there at 4:30pm to STAND and wait in the station that is NOT heated for 3 hours. Yes, that is stand after freezing all day in a car for 3 hours in the COLD!!
At this point I will leave you with your appetite wet to know how the 14 hour train ride went in a train that shall we say according to the train master that Dima spoke to, “We just can’t keep up with the cold!” That was a ‘chilling’ 14 hour train ride to say the least!!!
More tomorrow….
We had a wonderful visit, I wish I could get the video to download on face book; I can’t get the pictures to download either! We had bought a camera in Ukraine when we were there in March of last year and I downloaded from it, perhaps it has to do with that. Any techies out there can offer some help?
He came running right up to me and gave me a big hug when he saw me in the director’s office! He is the most adorable little snuggly bug you have EVER seen!! I could just eat him up!!! We played on the floor with the toys I brought him he was ecstatic. I had a floor matt with a town on it that you drive cars and trucks on, Valera had picked out the vehicles one of them being a ‘bat mobile’ oh my, you would of thought this child won the lottery! It was too cute.
The director and teacher showed him the book that Valera had read and taped his voice reading it to him. It was one of those hallmark Charlie Brown Christmas books, but it didn’t work! It worked in the hotel and then something happened in transit to the orphanage! Figures!! But they were going to try to get new batteries, and then the picture book of Valera in every imaginable scene from his new life, a card and more gifts. Tolek was thrilled and so was the director and his teacher. They are 100% on board with us getting him and will do what they can to help the process, hallelujah!
We were there for about an hour, didn’t want to leave but needed to go and get Oksana and finish her process, get on the road. That gruesome gut wrenching journey was about to begin, I had NO idea what I was in for emotionally, physically, or spiritually. Its good time has passed since being able to recant the story, gives me more perspective on what we went thru, better yet, what I went thru.
The good news is that Arkadiy said they have begun the process of terminating Tolek’s father’s rights!! Yippee!!!!! So not only is it possible, but they have begun.
We headed to Arkadiy’s office because you need the inspector to pick up your child and finalize with the director her release. I had the picture book by shutter fly I had made of CeCe, she modeling most of her winter wardrobe on page after page with printed dialogue to Arkadiy from her to him. The front covers a picture of CeCe and I saying “merry Christmas Arkadiy!” and she in NYC, Central Park, out shopping, playing, walking… he LOVED it!! And of course, some to die for Ralph Lauren shirts and sweater, fabby colors you know!
Oksana was in the infirmary where she had been for several days, they had her on antibiotics. We met with the nurse in the director’s office and reviewed her health and some other things I don’t know what really. Then she and I went upstairs to change her out of her orphan clothes into the beautiful Abercrombie and Fitch things I had bought with my niece Taylor who is the fashion queen on Arlin’s side of nieces and nephews for sure! We spent a couple of hours getting the most gorgeous outfits, although I don’t’ support this store I must say, their values etc.. I just didn’t want Oksana to deal with clothing issues of what’s ‘in’ and what’s not in middle school her first week on top of being foreign, adopted etc. Valera had told me how he had felt embarrassed because kids teased him about his accent and his language that first week. So I was trying to avoid any additional pressure at her age, not much of that at 7 years old, but certainly at 12 which she will be February 16th.
We went up to her dorm and NONE of the things I brought her fit; they were all way too tight. She had gone from size 8 girls in September to a size 14 girls or 16!!!! I about died!! The coat, NOTHING fit. They don’t let you leave with orphanage clothes, and the shoes I brought, none of the 3 pair of boots I had for her fit either. I was depressed to say the least!!! Who was this kid? Why did these things not fit, how could I not figure when I saw her in December what size she was, why had she grown so much in so short of a time?
They had her dressed in these horrific clothes that made her look giant and like a boy. Well, in my shallow mind, I was quickly detaching emotionally. This can’t be my daughter, she looks like a boy and she doesn’t like pink, can you imagine, MY daughter not liking pink????? And it went downhill from there.
The orphanage lawyer who had come to be Oksana’s refuge, confident, and true friend was kind enough to allow us to take the clothes on her back, I traded her for the things I had brought, coat and all. This was VERY unusual, they never allow you to take their things, I don’t understand why. I would have GLADLY left them these ugly clothes, and the boots, they looked like boot camp men’s boots, too large and very ugly. Ugh!!!!!
Dima was rushing us, we were on the move, the inspector had to get back to his office and we had to keep moving to the notary, the register’s office etc… with all the paperwork before dark. We ran down the stairs, she had her suitcase lagging behind me, I didn’t’ look back. I trusted she was following.
We loaded up in the car, not without taking the famed pictures Arlin wanted of her leaving the orphanage for the last time in 2 feet of snow by the way. All the pics of the “cleared” roads and sidewalks are on FB but again, help anyone!!
We stopped very briefly to take those few pics and the surroundings and loaded in the taxi. My head was spinning; I was on auto pilot now.
We pulled up the inspector’s office building, Arkadiy, and let him out. He told Dima he wanted to say a few things to me. I stepped out of the taxi and he began as Dima translated, “I have to tell you, I have dealt with 100’s of families and I have worked many hard years to help in adoption and I must say that you and your family are the most wonderful, loving, heartfelt people I have ever met! You are wonderful and caring people who I can see genuinely care and love these children and will give them a good home and care for others…. “On and on he went. “ I want to give you a hug, but I cannot in public where I can be seen, but I love you (I think he said this) and wish you the very, very best as I know you will be wonderful parents. These children are so fortunate to have you!” He gushed for about 7 minutes which in -24 Celsius about -10F is a LONG time!!! He was so amazing as he put out his hand to shake mine, I wanted to grab him and give him a big hug, but respected that it was not permissible.
I told him we would be back for Tolek and we would see our “friend” again!! That was the best part of the trip so far. Of course Dima as always who has become more like a brother than anything else, he said one evening while smoking his cigarette and laughing, “Deborah, I don’t talk to anyone else like I do you! You are not like a client anymore, you are more like a, a, well…”
“I know Dima; you’re more like my brother than anything! Unfortunately, now I take all your abuse!! Ha-ha” and we laughed!
We jumped back in the taxi and off to all the offices we had to go to. The next morning we had to leave at 7:30am to drive to her village to get the new birth certificate with my name on it, and her insane father’s as well.
When we finally arrived at the hotel, we were exhausted, cold, hungry and tired. But arriving at the hotel was not respite from the cold remembered. The heat on our side of the hotel not working properly, the unsealed windows with the wind-chill factor of -34C whatever that translates into, blowing into the room and a little space heater attempting to take of the “chill”!!
The front desk lady was the same wonderful woman who helped us when Arlin and I were here in September trying to contact the siblings to get to them for their adoption. When we arrived, we went back to my original room to gather my things as we had to move to a larger room with twin beds as I now had Oksana and my room was a ‘single’ room, she followed behind us and said, “Deborah, I have a proposition for you if you wish. Your new room is a corner room and it is entirely too cold for you and Oksana.” I went next door to look at it, Yuk! Two intersecting single beds and two outside exposed walls to the cold, meat locker for sure!
“I will let you stay in this room that is a single room if you don’t mind sharing the bed because it will be warmer for you both."
Well, you didn’t have to offer twice to me!! I’ll take it!!! Meant we had to share a small double bed, but all the warmer!
We had gone to the grocery store before returning to our hotel to buy food for dinner and for the next day as there would be no stopping anywhere along the way and then straight to the train station for a 14 hour overnight train ride, arriving in Kiev at 9:30 and taxing straight to the US Embassy for our 10am appointment.
Dima came to our room and made a few sandwiches with the meat, cheese and bread we had bought; we also got fruit and water. He noticed that I was not bonding with Oksana and kept telling me to get involved with the child at hand. I kept talking about Tolek and what our next steps were with him. I couldn’t seem to get into the moment with Oksana. She had not said a word to me or Dima, she wasn’t talking. She gave NO indication that she was happy that she was coming or otherwise making it all the more difficult for me. This was not the same child who ran up to me and hugged me unexpectedly at court in early January when I was here for the quick 3 day trip for the 30 minute court! Really, I was stunned and about to lose it.
I had her shower, the pajamas I brought did fit, and they were a woman’s XS. I then showered and got in my pj’s. We went to bed, no talking, no communication, I was sleeping with a stranger who didn’t like me as far as I could tell and was in shock leaving her country, her orphanage, and coming to a new country with a stranger as well. This was NOT going well my friends.
How had I fallen in love with the sibs from a picture? And Valera as well? And Tolek from the moment I saw him and now… NOTHING for this little one?!?!?! I sensed her uneasiness, her hesitation, and was thinking, “Does she just want out of Ukraine and to America? How is this going to work? We’re not bonding here, there’s absolutely no chemistry happening… how can I do this?”
I lie in bed next to her and felt myself about to breakdown crying. I waited until about 10pm when she was asleep, got up, put on my coat, scarf, gloves and boots over my pajama’s and went to the lobby, about the size of our kitchen. I took a book.
The front desk lady saw me over in the corner reading all snuggled up, and of course I was crying my eyes out. I was reading a great Christian fiction book about a boy with autism and all his rejection and what his parents went thru etc… how appropriate, so between this sad story and my own real life “sad” story drama playing out before me, I was a crying mess.
There was a wedding going on there as I told you we expected. Their loud partying until 1am didn’t help the fact that I wasn’t going to get any sleep. I don’t know how anyone in that place slept, the walls have NO insulation from sound and the people are right there for heavens’ sake.
A little girl from the wedding, must have been the niece came up to me and was smiling, she was adorable, I was ready to take her home, anyone, just a cute girl willing to give me a smile and nod of acceptance please!
She could see that I was crying and frowned as to know what the matter with me was. I told her I was ‘ok’ and she understood I didn’t speak her language. Her mother came over and gathered her up in her little fur coat, smiling at me, cautious, who is this American crying in her pajamas, coat, scarf, boots and gloves sitting in the small lobby reading a book???? Weirdo!
The front desk lady finally approached me at 1am and said it was too cold for me in the lobby; she was going to move me to the billiard room, basically a room with a pool table next to the kitchen, because it was warm in there for me. She unlocked the room, put on the lights and I found a place on the couch next to the kitchen, lots of noise in there breaking down after the wedding reception I guess.
I stayed there and read until 5:45am, I couldn’t sleep and at this point, the print was blurry, I couldn’t’ read anymore and was beginning to get tired, but we had to be up at 6am for breakfast at 7:00 to leave at 7:30. I returned to my room, got Oksana up and we got dressed.
I was ready first and told her I would meet her in the breakfast room, took my IPod and left. Dima came in shortly after me and asked what the problem was. I think he knew I had not slept and obviously from my swollen eyes guessed there was a problem. I explained that perhaps I had made an error, were we supposed to take this child, was this one to be ours, she didn’t talk, she didn’t even look at me, what had I done? He said, “Deborah, she’s in shock, she’s afraid, this is a big deal for her. Just give her time, she’s shy and scared!!"
Well, patience being my number one virtue, I wasn’t prepared to wait. She came in for breakfast and Dima and I chatted away. I just ignored her. Sorry, that’s the truth, hard as it seems.
We hurried and collected our things as the taxi came. Now if you think the ride from Donetsk in the dark was the ride from hell, oh no my friends!!! We were about to embark on the ride from hell for the next 9 ½ hours!!!!
Dima had figured that the drive to the village was about 4 hours from where we were, well, unfortunately for us, it was 5! And in this snow, in a little bitty car with Dima at 6’4” and the driver at 6’2” with their seats pushed all the way back, the trunk the size of a back seat, leaving Oksana and I with seats at our knees if we chose to sit straight, and two suitcases between us and a laptop at my feet and all the bags of food and water, comfortable anyone???? For the next NINE HOURS!!!! No this truly was the worst ever!!!!
And then, 2 hours into the trip we pull into this ‘gas station’ which was all of 3 pumps in the middle of nowhere, where is the Sheetz when you need one??? And as we pull up, Dima says, “Get out.”
What do you mean get out? I’m not getting out and freezing!! And I’m not pumping gas, that’s HIS job!!
"Get out!” he said. And he was serious. We hurriedly got out as he demanded and he said, “Follow me.”
Where was he going? As we were walking he explained that this guy’s car took a certain fuel, like propane but not exactly propane. The tank was in the trunk. Well no WONDER why the luggage didn’t fit back there!!
He said that when you are filling the car, anyone in the car besides the person filling the tank have to walk 150 feet away from the vehicle in case it blows up while filling it.
OH NOW I FEEL COMPLETELY SAFE IN THIS VEHICLE FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!!!!!!!!!
What might this mean if we were to get hit from behind by a…. say… sliding out of control in the snow vehicle from behind? Use your imagination, it doesn’t take much… BOOM!!!!
Truly this is a story out of a BAD novel is it not? This is not happening real time for me is it??? Let’s just add ‘fuel to the fire’ dare I joke in this situation?????
He smoked a cigarette and I have to say, if I didn’t hate those things I was ready to take up smoking with him!! Got a drink anyone???
We loaded back up and continued on. The navigation system the guy had was not finding our destination. My feet were totally frozen as the driver kept turning off the heat, they were burning up in the front, we were freezing in the back, gloves, hat, scarves, and all on, but to no avail. Trip from… well you get the drift by now.
Ok let’s speed this up… we finally find the village with the ONE building where we need to go. It is not HER village, but the HEAD village of the area, the office so to speak. Dima goes in and leaves us in the car that is shut OFF for 110 minutes… need I say more? Frost bite in the feet at this time….
He returns and tells me to get out quickly and follow him. We enter the building after my complaining loudly on the walk in thru the snow about freezing in the car, forget about me, but we DO have a child on hand. He tells me he would have invited me into the building but no heat there, what’s the difference? But there was heat in this ladies office only room for two.
I sign the papers, then he brings in Oksana, smiles, advice to Oksana from the lady in Russian, pleasantries and we’re off. Now a 3 our drive back to Donetsk, well 4 hours to the passport to get her passport where at normal speed of 3-5 days processing, you can “expedite” the process to 15 minutes for a mere “encouragement” of sorts. I’ll leave the thinking to you.
We chose the “expediting” way which has gone up considerably by the way. However, this official was able to get us tickets on the train that was sold out that would have cost us a few more days. She got us first class with a phone call and more “encouragement”.
Oh well, whatever it takes.
Dima had told me on exiting the office in the village that the lady remembered Oksana, she was from her actual village and had filled him in on the family history. He would tell me when we had some time alone.
We make it finally to the passport police station, wait outside in the cold again, vehicle shut off, but not without in route stopping to get MORE gas, lovely experience that is.
We then find a notary and go to the train station following. We arrive there at 4:30pm to STAND and wait in the station that is NOT heated for 3 hours. Yes, that is stand after freezing all day in a car for 3 hours in the COLD!!
At this point I will leave you with your appetite wet to know how the 14 hour train ride went in a train that shall we say according to the train master that Dima spoke to, “We just can’t keep up with the cold!” That was a ‘chilling’ 14 hour train ride to say the least!!!
More tomorrow….
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