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Running on Empty

6/19/2016

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When you have to borrow money from your children’s piggy bank to go to the laundromat to wash a down comforter, you’ve got problems! Here I am - trying to shake out enough quarters to put in the giant washing machine - thinking, “God, there’s a message in this craziness here; what are you trying to tell me??”. All of this while my five and eight year-olds are watching me in a panic take their money...

Running on empty... no time to go to "the bank" and get what I need, “You’re running on empty, Deborah."

In between runs to the laundromat to transfer the comforter from that giant washer to the double-X-dryer, I took CeCe for a walk along the creek to the bridge by our home. The beauty of the foliage, trees, animal life, and the flowing water allowed me to take a deep breath and consider: up at 4:45am, off to the trainer, then at 6am get kids up to do our morning chores at the barn, grandma's for breakfast when done, then homeschooling from 10-12...who has time???

But I’m missing out on the best part… walking it out with Him!
Going hand-in-hand with Him through all the quagmire of my day.


Yet I’m thinking - I can’t possibly qualify for His time and His Presence if I don’t have a “real quiet time” when I sit down with pen, paper, Bible, study notes, etc. and do deep meditation to prep for the day.

Trying not to knock on what was my life-saving habit for decades before kids, but I'm having an “aha” moment that I’m in His Presence every moment!  I have only to believe, receive, and in a nano second, we’re one, we’re together. I can receive an infusion of His strength, longevity, joy,  laughter, and life!

By George, I HOPE I’ve got it! No more running on empty. I don’t need a “trip” to the quiet zone... He’s here now, with me, in me and living out His purposes through me.

Though, I do still  long for the days when I can leisurely sit for hours (or even an hour) alone with Him - no interruptions, silence, and  tranquility...But, I don’t want to miss out on life now, with all the craziness, and yes “robbing the piggy bank.” It’s all okay. It’s a season with NO LESS of His fullness in my life than any other season.

What season are you in? Pause, breath in, He’s right there….You’re right on schedule. Press on!

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Feeling His Pleasure In Me

6/6/2016

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With only 10 minutes to spare, I need to share what's been rattling in my head for about four days now...

I have been questioning whether or not to do this blog. Who would read it? Who would care? Is it a waste of time? What do I think I’m doing? I'm a mother of five, running four dairies, a household, homeschooling after school… blah blah blah... and I think I have  time to do this??? And further more, just who do I think I am that I have anything worthwhile to say? Yea God, what do You mean, “Deborah, just sit down and write what I tell you, let’s chat and you write?"


So, while brushing my teeth the other morning, I started to feel jubilant!  I’m telling you!...   happy, excited, motivated, like you feel when you are out with life-long friends laughing your heads off, 100% relaxed, in the moment, not a care in the world, not even a THOUGHT of your daily grind or life… AND He spoke, “I take pleasure when you write, when you tell stories, when you laugh and enjoy Me as you do it. That’s Me!”

And then it hit! I FEEL HIS PLEASURE WHEN I DO THIS. WHEN I WRITE THE STORIES (OR TELL THE STORIES) I FEEL HIS PLEASURE BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HE CREATED ME TO DO….

OMG (goodness - plane folks, it’s ok) I feel His pleasure IN ME. And then I remembered how I use to dance in my home in Texas before moving to NYC, just God and I alone; and I would laugh like a little girl. I would actually put on ballet shoes - sing, laugh, and skip around my living room - enjoying Him. Then I would sit down and write and write and write… When I moved to NYC, we had date nights on Thursdays at St. Patrick's Cathedral. I LOVE that cathedral and all the stain glass windows. I felt the company of the saints that went before me. I would sit in the middle pews all alone, but NOT alone. I had soooo much company. I could feel Him and the presence of (don’t go off on me now) the angels and the saints. I would look at the altar, the majestic architecture, the artwork, the marble... smile, sigh, take it all in, and enjoy Him.

That’s what this blog is for, it’s for Him! And, like a flower in the desert that no one ever sees; created for His good pleasure alone, so am I.

AND so are YOU!! Find what it is today, in doing whatever "it" is, that you feel His pleasure while doing "it" - what He created you to do. Borrowing from the man in Chariots of Fire, “I feel His pleasure when I run, because that’s what I was created to do."

Go do it!!!! And enjoy!
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    The Blog of Deborah A. Benner

    “They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.” (Rev 12:11)


    If you’ve come to this blog today, He has a word for you - to touch, heal, and encourage your heart wherever you are in your journey… it’s all about Him and you!  

    “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”  (Ps 139:16)

    He’s got you! Open the eyes of their hearts Lord, they want to see you, they want to hear you. Amen

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