I have been working over the last couple of years to really take to heart, “renewing my mind daily” to overcome a negative, debilitating thought life which breeds hopelessness, depression, and doubting God’s goodness.
The last 2 years have been oppressive for our nation and world because of the situations that have come upon us outside of our control. This bred panic, hopelessness, fear, doubt and more in everyday life for all of us. And that’s above and BEYOND just life!! We all have our ‘normal’ family and life struggles, but this?!?!? Hence my journey…
"Father, I doubt I am changing, that this is working, seems like same ‘ole’ crap. Choosing to see myself free is seeing me smiling and joyous regardless of tasks undone, kids behavior, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, appointments, running the business etc etc!!! Last night my sleep was sabotaged by CeCe (my 3.5 lb dog) crying all night for more food, my youngest son getting up at 4am(????) and wanting to get in bed with me, I was so upset! Tending to their needs yet needing sleep to wake up early to meet You at 5am way before the house was up. I need ALONE time WITHOUT DISTRACTION!! Perhaps You were using these moment to moment distractions to wake me up earlier, not to mention the nagging pain in my left leg all night. Freedom is JOY and LIFE in You ALWAYS!!! That’s what I want regardless of circumstances.”
Then came the most needed conversation...
How and what do You want me to change, Father? The stress of things to do, farm, kids - heaviness...
Well, let's start with burdens. Roll them on ME - I AM asking you to give them to me - and you keep carrying it all. And so what if things don't get done? Wasn't that a good Word from me last night? I want you to meditate on this today... "I AM one with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I AM NOW IN TOTAL healing mind, body and spirit. I AM walking in freedom all day."
OK - Should I give you my list of burdens today?
Will that make you feel better, Deborah? Because I already know it all... Look how frantic you were this morning. It's okay - I AM patient, I AM here, I AM always here!!
OK - that makes me want to cry. I guess... What if kids don't get things done - Oh well, right?! That steals life from me - all the business, it strangles me!
Surprise! Of course it does - LET GO - Then I will bring in the troops. IT'S MY JOB - really, it's as nothing to me! Hello - do you remember I created ALL things and I AM in and through ALL things and hold it ALL together?! ALL. ALL. ALL.Can you imagine managing ALL that?! HaHa and you stress over your little piece of ALL - that's why I say give it over. I AM already holding it ALL together for you. Can you simply enjoy Me as you go about your "day"?
OK-OK- I am laughing in light of that thought really - I am stressing over what? OK, go put another star in place - ha - while I give you the house, the business, the children, the laundry, the floors, the kitchen, shopping for food, the business errands, schedules, my myriad of "to do's" today. Sigh - a breath of relief. Sitting here in the sun Your light shining on my face as I sit on a bean bag on the floor in our dining room - Izzy laying next to me purring having this conversation with You - I AM at peace totally. Do I really have to get up and leave the quietness and peacefulness of this moment? Ugh -
Well that's up to you. How much do you believe I control time? That's right - I know the refrigerator man is on his way to fix the fridge finally, but perhaps he gets stuck in traffic - hhmmmm... We have more time. Isn't that piano worship music you have playing beautiful? I love listening to it with you. I enjoy how my gift to that artist blesses you and causes you to relax.
Thanks - it is a gift. By the way I saw that special Wood Pecker as I was walking with Nikita yesterday afternoon. It was so fun to see him or her. That blessed me as did when we saw George in the creek - our blue herring - the children so enjoy him as well. His wing span when he flies along the creek is incredible! My kids wish they could fly. I used to also when I was their age. Such freedom in that. OK - I am peaceful now. I'll enjoy coffee with you, just sitting, these last moments.
Doesn't it feel nice to REST? Funny how you have to labor to enter My rest? I knew, that's why I told you.
Now it's time - get going - write the next note...
The last 2 years have been oppressive for our nation and world because of the situations that have come upon us outside of our control. This bred panic, hopelessness, fear, doubt and more in everyday life for all of us. And that’s above and BEYOND just life!! We all have our ‘normal’ family and life struggles, but this?!?!? Hence my journey…
"Father, I doubt I am changing, that this is working, seems like same ‘ole’ crap. Choosing to see myself free is seeing me smiling and joyous regardless of tasks undone, kids behavior, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, appointments, running the business etc etc!!! Last night my sleep was sabotaged by CeCe (my 3.5 lb dog) crying all night for more food, my youngest son getting up at 4am(????) and wanting to get in bed with me, I was so upset! Tending to their needs yet needing sleep to wake up early to meet You at 5am way before the house was up. I need ALONE time WITHOUT DISTRACTION!! Perhaps You were using these moment to moment distractions to wake me up earlier, not to mention the nagging pain in my left leg all night. Freedom is JOY and LIFE in You ALWAYS!!! That’s what I want regardless of circumstances.”
Then came the most needed conversation...
How and what do You want me to change, Father? The stress of things to do, farm, kids - heaviness...
Well, let's start with burdens. Roll them on ME - I AM asking you to give them to me - and you keep carrying it all. And so what if things don't get done? Wasn't that a good Word from me last night? I want you to meditate on this today... "I AM one with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I AM NOW IN TOTAL healing mind, body and spirit. I AM walking in freedom all day."
OK - Should I give you my list of burdens today?
Will that make you feel better, Deborah? Because I already know it all... Look how frantic you were this morning. It's okay - I AM patient, I AM here, I AM always here!!
OK - that makes me want to cry. I guess... What if kids don't get things done - Oh well, right?! That steals life from me - all the business, it strangles me!
Surprise! Of course it does - LET GO - Then I will bring in the troops. IT'S MY JOB - really, it's as nothing to me! Hello - do you remember I created ALL things and I AM in and through ALL things and hold it ALL together?! ALL. ALL. ALL.Can you imagine managing ALL that?! HaHa and you stress over your little piece of ALL - that's why I say give it over. I AM already holding it ALL together for you. Can you simply enjoy Me as you go about your "day"?
OK-OK- I am laughing in light of that thought really - I am stressing over what? OK, go put another star in place - ha - while I give you the house, the business, the children, the laundry, the floors, the kitchen, shopping for food, the business errands, schedules, my myriad of "to do's" today. Sigh - a breath of relief. Sitting here in the sun Your light shining on my face as I sit on a bean bag on the floor in our dining room - Izzy laying next to me purring having this conversation with You - I AM at peace totally. Do I really have to get up and leave the quietness and peacefulness of this moment? Ugh -
Well that's up to you. How much do you believe I control time? That's right - I know the refrigerator man is on his way to fix the fridge finally, but perhaps he gets stuck in traffic - hhmmmm... We have more time. Isn't that piano worship music you have playing beautiful? I love listening to it with you. I enjoy how my gift to that artist blesses you and causes you to relax.
Thanks - it is a gift. By the way I saw that special Wood Pecker as I was walking with Nikita yesterday afternoon. It was so fun to see him or her. That blessed me as did when we saw George in the creek - our blue herring - the children so enjoy him as well. His wing span when he flies along the creek is incredible! My kids wish they could fly. I used to also when I was their age. Such freedom in that. OK - I am peaceful now. I'll enjoy coffee with you, just sitting, these last moments.
Doesn't it feel nice to REST? Funny how you have to labor to enter My rest? I knew, that's why I told you.
Now it's time - get going - write the next note...
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